The Official Five Men And A Rock Comedy Page

    The Official "Five Men And A Rock" Web Site


If you answered yes to any of these "social worker questions", please go get screwed over, drink your self drunk, and comeback. Well, here we are again at the Five Men And A Rock" web page. You may say, "Who are these people???", or, "Yo Queiro des Huevoes", and maybe even, "Da, SonnovaBitch! Wrong Page again!!!". But the fact of the matter is that we are here and so are you so please just check out the web page because if you don't we will (1) Go home and cry, or (2) Signal for the sniper in the tree to pick you off. Hey, is that a Dinosaur on your shoulder... HA, made you look... What's that you say lassie???? What girl, I was looking into a mirror... Oh, okay... Dah, there's a dinosaur on my shoulder, help, he is ripping open my innards, arrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh... oih... (in anguish) h-e-l-p... mmmmmmeeeeee.... ungh... (The muffled singing of "No Pants For Me" is heard) I'm.... Dead....



Click above for COMPLAINTS

We would like to apologize for that desperate attempt to be funny, we realize now that it was childish and unnecessary.... (Dies from heart attack)
And now for some real funny stuff... What, you don't believe me? Do you wanna fight you copulous no good tootsie rectum!...
The Writers of that insulting yet hilarious blurb have been canned.

(German accent) VHAT?!?! Vhat is dat joo say? Joo vant de NEW STUFF?

Vell, ve doo nat havda New Stuff now! Maybe ve vill tell joo vhen it eeze dhan! and maybe ve von't!!!

(yelling like a moron)WE ARE SORRY ABOUT THAT!!! TO FIND OUT WHAT'S NEW...

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Jim "Not quite as big as 'big sexy', but sexy all the same" Martin
Jason "Biggest sexy over all" Constintinou
Graham "Big sexy the club Hopper" Phillips
Matt "Some people say he's moderately sexy" Hamill
CJ "Smeege, little sexy the vibrator" Minchoff
Joe "Pretty sexy, in a zoophyliac sort of way" Macon
Ben "Sexy in a semi-pro rock star kind of way" Kindberg
Tom "Very much sexy, in a 'smart' way" Russo
Sean "The extremely sexy babe magnet" Martin
Anthony "The Sexiest Mafia Kingpin" Altomare

Now, Most people laugh at our unimaginative nicknames and call us poofy licking malodorous xenophiles... or something like that. But if you want to know more about the newest most enigmatic group of comedic talent, (you are on the wrong page) then got to the

Other Gob Dropping Toucan Sniffing Rapturous Things To Do Here

Well, you can visit the Download Page.
Or Go to the Five Men And A Rock Chat Room!

Do you have a smelly bum bum?

You do???? That's gross! Oh well, we want you to check out the Official Monty Python Web Site. They are wicked cool.
Later, if you have a high thresh hold of pain.. err.... Like music, visit the Official FeverFew Web Page.
If you think, "Yeah, This stuff rocks!" Then you have mental problems!

HEY!!!! What do you think about our web page? TELL US IN OUR GUESTBOOK!(please note, Nazis and/or Smack dealers need not sign the guestbook)

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Our ASS Says, "This Rockin' Page Has Been Visited...


Times!!!!!"

*** Everything Cool on this page was conceived, written, and performed by Five Men and a Rock except for the certain downloads(will be specified by who on it) and certain graphics(Monty Python)***